Monday, June 11, 2007

Tail Chase

Here’s what happens when one (1) bouncer is required to cover two (2) lengths of “velvet rope”:

People step over the rope on the far side. When they do, the bouncer walks over and stops them. While he’s on the far side doing his job, people step over the rope on the near side. He sees this and quickly retreats in order to stop them, too.

As soon as he gets to the near side, more people on the far side step over the rope. And so on.

After this goes on for ten minutes or so, the bouncer in question is shouted at by management for his incompetence because too many unauthorized people have managed to get past him. He doesn’t care very much about this, so he tells management to go fuck itself with some manner of dildo or plug.

He then gets “reassigned.”

The next bouncer to be posted at this spot encounters the same problem. Eventually, management decides to use two (2) bouncers to cover these two (2) lengths of velvet rope, realizing that there exists no such person as the mythical “three-stanchion man.”

The first bouncer is never apologized to, and is still assumed to be incompetent.

Stunningly, he continues not to care.